Goddamnit it, Faris.
Its been three years, man. I can't write this without tears coming to my eyes. I wanted to write this at first just to process my thoughts since I've been wanting to write a lot more of my thoughts down these past few months but that feels self-serving right now. Besides, I know your ass would NEVER stop making fun of me if you found out about this shit. God knows you'd question my sexuality for it.
For someone who usually knows exactly what they want to say to people, I'll admit I don't know where to begin with you.
I guess I'll catch you up on what's happening. Because I never did do that while I could.
not right now
For now thank you Faris. You'll never be able to know how deeply you changed me, even if only in your death. I discover new depths of myself around this time every year. I owe so much of the love and happiness in my life to you brother. I can't write what i wanted to write to you right now. My face and hands have become too disgusting. Forgive me. I'll try to reconnect next year when I can keep myself together hopefully.
Thank you for making me feel alive. Yet again.